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PHONE
CONSULTATIONS & GENERAL LAWLESSNESS
HOT
PHONESEX
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She'll hang you out to dry, and then she'll save your
sorry ass...send you up the river, and then finagle a
full pardon...push you over the edge, and then -- just before
you hit bottom -- snap you to heights you've never known. Before sending you crashing back to the depths,
again and again, like a pathetic little paddle-ball.
And, as always, Lady Justice turns a blind eye. Enjoy the
roller-coaster ride! |
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A
NATURAL BORN DIPLOMAT |
[the unofficial definition for which
is:
She who can tell you to go to Hell, and make you look
forward to the trip.]
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Erika
has a special gift for making everybody happy, and from
her elegant but iron fist flows a graceful and serene
authority. She is always in control, and she knows your
needs far better than you. She will teach you the art
of -- shall we say "compromise?" Or crush
you like an insignificant arachnoid. Resistance is futile! |
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COP
by DAY, LAW STUDENT by NIGHT |
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I am
sick and fucking tired of locking guys like you up,
one minute, and then seeing you out on the street, the
next. So until I have the sheepskin to put worthless
fucks like you away for good, I'm a one-woman Justice
system!
If you haven't done anything wrong, you've got nuthin'
to fear, punk. Step over here. I've got a few
questions I want to ask you... |
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And
Inordinately Fond of Unnecessary Searches & Seizures
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Life isn't fair, and Justice is on the take.
Thus, She picks up the slack.
Balances a scale, here and there.
Cleans the occasional clock.
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Don't
be scared, darlin'. We all have your best interests
at heart [somewhere deep, deep, deep down inside].
Treat me right, and when everyone else is finished
with you I'll wipe you down, dry your tears, kiss
it where it hurts, and help you forget the nightmares.
I'm your guardian angel, baby. Nobody takes care
of you like I do...
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